With a full heart

Dear friends in Christ,

Tuesday, I attended my last vestry meeting as your Rector. There was laughter and a few tears as we looked over fifteen years of ministry together. 

As I continue to prepare for retirement, my heart is full. Here at All Saints’ over these fifteen years, we have shared the joys and sorrows that mark a community of faith – baptisms and weddings, hospital visits and funerals, seasons of challenge and renewal. I continue to be grateful. Serving as your rector has been one of the greatest privileges and blessings of my life. You have taught me more about grace, resilience, and love than I could ever have imagined when we began this journey together.

With all that love and history between us, it may feel strange to hear that, after my retirement, I will not continue to take part in parish events, services, or pastoral occasions. I want to speak about why this is so – not as a rule to be endured, but as a faithful expression of care for you, for the church, and for the future that God is preparing.

When a rector retires, the pastoral relationship changes. I will no longer be your priest or pastor, and that is as it should be. The Episcopal Diocese of North Carolina, in its Guidelines for Clergy Leave-Taking, asks retiring clergy to step back completely from the life of the congregation for a period of at least one year. During that time, I will not attend worship or parish functions. I will not be available for weddings, funerals, baptisms, or pastoral conversations. These responsibilities rightly belong to those who will lead and care for you in this next chapter.

I know that may sound hard. It is hard for me, too. After fifteen years of shared ministry, deep affection, and mutual trust, it is not easy to step back. But this separation is not about emotional distance or indifference, nor about distance for distance’s sake. It is about love, integrity, and trust. 

As I retire, you need space to turn your full attention toward the future God is preparing. A new priest will one day come to serve among you. It is important that you can welcome and trust her or him fully, without divided loyalties or uncertainty about who your pastor is. The diocesan guidelines remind us that former rectors should not return to officiate or assist in any way unless invited by the new rector. This ensures that the next priest’s authority and ministry are honored from the very beginning.

When a rector remains involved after retirement, even with the best intentions, it can create confusion about who serves as pastor and make it harder for the next priest to build the relationships that are essential to healthy ministry. Healthy boundaries allow new relationships to grow and new patterns of ministry to take shape. Stepping back gives your new rector the freedom to lead, and you the freedom to grow.

For me, too, it is an act of faith. It allows me to rest and to listen for how God may be calling me in the next season of my life. It invites me to let go with gratitude and to trust that the same God who has guided me through these fifteen years will continue to guide you – and me – in the days to come. 

I know there is loss in every goodbye. I will miss you deeply. But I believe that these boundaries are, in their own way, a final gift we give one another. They help us honor the ministry we have shared and make space for new life to emerge.

Beneath this lies a deeper spiritual truth: the Church belongs to God. No priest, no congregation, no particular chapter of ministry ever contains the whole of God’s story. We are all temporary stewards of a grace that began long before us and will continue long after. Just as Jesus told his disciples that it was to their advantage that he go away so that the Spirit might come, I trust that my departure will make room for new gifts and fresh energy to flourish among you.

As this next chapter unfolds, I ask you to hold in prayer your vestry, your wardens, those who will lead worship in this interim time, and the priest who will one day come to serve among you. Support them, encourage them, and welcome them as warmly as you have always welcomed me.

Please know how deeply grateful I am for each of you – for your faith, your humor, your generosity, and your willingness to grow together in Christ. And please know that while I will no longer be among you in the day-to-day life of the parish, I will carry you in my heart and in my prayers. I will give thanks continually for your faith, your humor, your courage, and your generosity. You have shaped me more than you know, and I am grateful beyond words.

Faithfully,
Nancy