Seasonal tending

Last week I spent several hours addressing the wisteria “take over” of a highly visible corner of my yard. The lovely wisteria is planted along a naturalized area of my neighbor’s. The plant’s fragrant blooms and open shade are beautiful, but unchecked, it becomes invasive, wrapping itself around trees, climbing over fences, choking out other plants, and creeping across the ground with alarming determination. Regularly, it must be cut back, pulled up, and cleared away – a task that I realized had been left for too long. 

As I dug and pulled and cut, I was reminded of how easily offense can grow in the heart. More than a decade ago, a parishioner recommended a small book* to me about resentment, which named “offense” as one of the most subtle and dangerous traps of our spiritual lives. The author spoke of how “taking offense” can work in much the same way as my neighbor’s wisteria. It starts small – a careless word or tone, misunderstanding, an unmet expectation that takes root in our hearts. And like that wisteria, it doesn’t stay small. It grows into resentment, bitterness, division, and isolation. Left unchecked, resentment grows persistently, wrapping itself around our relationships and spiritual well-being. 

Again and again over the years, the author’s simple premise and caution have come to me. We take offense. We allow it to root itself in our hearts. People may make rude or cutting remarks, engage in hurtful actions, or do nothing when something is called for. The offense is made, but the truth is we don’t have to take it. The phrase itself gives us a clue – we take offense. That means we also have the choice to leave it.

Jesus calls us to not take offense, but to leave it where it falls, instead of picking it up and carrying it forward. Jesus teaches again and again to turn the other cheek, or bless those who curse you, to forgive, not because the offenses don’t matter, but because our hearts do.

Like the stubborn and persistent wisteria in my garden, offense must be regularly cut back and cleared out before it takes over and entwines itself in our hearts, in our inner lives, choking out joy and grace. Just as gardens need seasonal tending, our souls need the regular work of uprooting resentment and making room for the peace of God. 

So, are there offenses we’ve taken that we could instead choose to release? Is there someone we need to forgive – not because they earned it, but because God has forgiven us first? This brave work is not always easy, but it opens space for God to bring healing and joy so that we may be people of peace – cleared out, rooted in love, and free.

Blessings,
Nancy+

*The book is “The Bait of Satan” by John Bevere, also offered as a sermon on YouTube.